Saturday, May 27, 2017

Perfect

“Cori, what do you think of this shirt? Do you think it will look good with my dark jeans?” Lily asks me lifting up a tank top with a tribal pattern.
“Love it! Although I think it would better with your khaki shorts better,” I advise her while looking at a rack of clothes in front of me. After all, I do have an eye for fashion if I do say so myself.
“True but now I need to get a new pair of khakis. Remember I stained my favorite ones a couple weeks ago? They were my favorite pair too. Ugh” Lily says while rolling her eyes and shaking her head at herself. Oh yeah. She spelt red juice on her shorts when she was in a hurry. Let just say, the red stain definitely looked unfortunate, if you can guess why. I laughed my butt off when she tried to clean it off but ended up making it worse.
“Okay! We got to make sure to hit up where I got it because I’m pretty sure they’ll have some. Oh, I need to try this one on too” she says picking up another shirt.
“So have you found anything that you might want to wear to the Memorial Day party?” Lily asks me. Incase your wondering what she is talking about, the point of this shopping trip is because I wanted to find something to wear to Eric’s parents memorial day celebration or whatever they are calling it. Was it extravaganza or something like that? It's a party, okay?
“Anyways, it's a party where ALL of their friends and family show up; you know, the Dawson family usual. So I decided to get a new outfit for it since I want to make my usual impression. It’s for a good cause. Everybody is used to me being on top of my fashion game and if I’m not then my reputation is finished. I tried explaining this to Eric but he didn't quite understand it; like at all. What else is new? Sigh. Lily on the other hand totally gets me and I didn't have to ask her twice to join me today. Ah, just like old times.
“No! I’m wanting to get a cute summer dress but I haven't seen one that I liked yet” I reply while picking out a reddish, flowy shirt. I have found a pair of shirts, some shorts, and a pair of sandals instead. Funny how I’m not finding the one thing I came looking for.
“Did you see the few over there? Oh and I love that shirt you have. If you don't like it, I call dibs” Lily tells me. Dibs? Yeah, right. She’ll probably end up buying one as well. We have quite a few of the same clothes. What can I say? We have GREAT taste. The only downside is when we end up wearing stuff at the same time. Awkward…
“No, but I'll look at them though” I say, heading to where she pointed. These are actually cute. Now which colors should I try on? Navy blue floral? White and black striped one? Or a plum colored one? Decisions, decisions.
“So Mariah’s going to be at the party too, right?” Lily asks. As if the answer isn't obvious, Lils.
“Duh. Her and Chris are inseparable, I swear. The only problem with it is that you know Janey will be there too” I tell her while giving her a pointed looking hoping that she catches my drift.
“Yeah that's going to go well. I hope they won't start anything or bring any of that petty stuff,” Lily says. I agree but I do think it would be entertaining as ever! Okay, so Mariah and Janey aren't friends anymore. They practically hate each other now. I'm not sure what the final nail in the grave was but their friendship is OVER. Now whenever they are near each other, there is a definite frost in the air, petty comments, and a lot of eye rolling. So I can only imagine how the party will go. Not that I will be egging them on or getting info about what happened or anything. I promise I won't...much. Heehee.
“You know it will. And hopefully I’ll be there to see it. I’ll report back on everything. Let's go try stuff on. I think I found a dress” I say and head to the changing room area.
“Are you still planning on going to that fundraiser Sophie and Lisa are running?” Lily asks, next door to my changing room. I'm currently putting on some light wash denim jeans. Or trying to anyways. It's a bit of a struggle. Suck in Cori. Suck in!
“I guess, but I honestly am not feeling it. I'm going mostly because you're pretty much making me go” I say, huffing and puffing as I try on my pants. What. The. HELL! Why don't they fit? Gasp! Am I getting fat?
“I'm going because Felipe thinks I should go. Also because I know Orlando has been hounding him about it as well. Plus Sophie has been up my butt about it the last couple of weeks.” she tells me. I kick off my jeans since it's obvious I’m getting nowhere with them. I mean they kind of fit but are just super tight. Way tighter than normal. They were freaking cute too. Ugh. I look at myself in the full-length mirror. I lift my leg up to take a closer look. Hmmm, they do look bigger and flabbier. My butt is totally cottage cheese central. Don't even get me started on my thighs. I really am getting bigger. Dare I say fat? I have been noticing some of my clothes have been getting snug within the last week. Like a few of my pants and skirts. But I figured I shrunk them or something. I have had a few minor mishaps in the washing machine. Not to mention dying a few of Eric’s shirts. Yeah, that ended up kind of badly, buts that totally beside the point. It’s obvious now that I wasn't washing my clothes wrong. Pshh, I wish that was the case.
“Did you try on your dresses yet?” Lily asks, breaking me out of my distressing thoughts.
“No, not yet” I tell her as I grab the floral dress first. It's okay, but let me see how the others look. I try on the plum dress and finally see something that I sort of like. Its falls above my knees and is flowy on the bottom and tighter near the top. I guess I dig it.
“Okay. I think I found a dress I like. Come look,” I say, walking out of the room to show Lily. She walks out wearing one of the tops that she picked out earlier.
“Oh, it looks really cute on you!” she tells me. I'm not convinced. Her mind could be playing tricks on her.
“Really?” I ask in disbelief.
“Yes, really. I like this dress the best. Love the color and you can dress it up or down depending on the accessories you wear with it. You should get this one,” she tells me. I roll my eyes.
“I don't know. It doesn't make my legs look bad, does it? Like my thighs?” I ask, looking at the back of myself in the mirror again. Now, it's Lily’s turn to roll her eyes.
“No! You look perfect in it, okay,” I promise you. Now get it before you change your mind about it. You can be so indecisive about clothes sometimes. Or ALL the time” Lilly says. Hey, being sure of that I wear is not a bad thing. I need to look my best. Who doesn't?
“Fine, but I’m for sure keeping the receipts. Oh and I really like the shirt you have on. I would be so right about the khaki shorts,” I say with a smug grin. My fashion expertise is on point, as usual.
“I agree. So we for sure need to go by the store to pick me up some new ones” she says, heading back into her dressing room as I do the same toward mine. I start to take off my dress. I guess I’ll get it but I’m still going to look around. I have almost two weeks until the Memorial Day party to find something. I should be able to find an outfit that pleases my fashionable heart. Especially if I can loose a bit of weight.
      +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I push the front door closed with my hip as I drop my numerous bags onto the floor. Phew. I’m finally made it. The elevator is under maintenance at the moment so I had to take the stairs. They get me every time; especially when I'm carrying something heavy. Maybe I bought too much stuff. Just kidding! As if I would ever think that. I make my way into the living room where I hear Eric talking on the phone. Who is he talking to?
“Uh-huh...ok...I will...I know” Eric says in a bored tone. Ohhh, I know who it is now. It’s his mom. Demi sure can talk your ear off. Seriously, I’m not kidding. One time she called me to ask about a recipe I made one time and I ended up on the phone for an HOUR. I had to make up an excuse about a lasagna being burned in the oven. Okay so that may not have been an excuse since it actually happened, but she didn't know that.
“Hi Demi!” I say loud enough for her to hear as I kiss Eric’s cheek. I jump onto the other end of the couch.
“Here. My mom wants to talk to you now” Eric tells me as he hands the phone to me. He is clearly over the conversation as he gets up and heads to the kitchen. Who can blame him? Thank god, I showed up. Your welcome Eric.
“Hello” I say.
“Cori, how are you?” Demi gushes over the phone.
“I'm good. I just got back from a day out with Lily” I tell her.
“That's what Eric told me. I’m sure you bought some cute clothes; like you always do” she's says. That is very true. Although, I’m not sure just how “cute” I look in them at the moment.
“Well, I try. I did buy a dress that I’m thinking about wearing to the party,” I say.
“I can't wait to see it on you. I'm sure you'll look fabulous. Speaking about the party, I mentioned to Eric that you guys are welcome to spend the night and leave the next day. That way you aren't driving back home late at night. Plus, we’ll get extra time to visit with you two because it's been awhile since we’ve seen either of you” Demi tells me. Man, how could I say no to her? Mom guilt is the worst. Ugh.
“I don't mind spending the night,” I say, honestly meaning it. I genuinely enjoy spending time with Eric’s family. They feel like my own now and I do really care about them.
“I do hope you do. Talk it over with Eric and let me know what you decide. I got to let you go since Greg is giving me a look. I've been on the phone too long now. Take care, hon. I’ll talk to you in a few days” Demi says with a laugh as we end our phone call. I wonder if Eric’s dad’s look is similar to his.
“So how long were you on the phone with your mom?” I ask as Eric sits down next to me again. I'm going to guess an hour? Wanna bet?
“About forty-five minutes and most of that was her talking” Eric tells me. Damn! I lost.
“Well, that's your mom for you. She loves to talk. By the way she mentioned about spending the night after the party” I say, stealing some of the chips that Eric brought from the kitchen. Barbeque flavor is my fav.  
She loves to talk as much as I love cuddle time with Eric.
“Yeah, I told her that I’d talk to you about it first. Do you want to do it? I don't care either way, angel; especially since I don't have to work the next day” Eric tells me.
“I guess so. Your mom really, really wants us to do it. She kept saying how much she misses us,” I say. Point taken, Demi.
“She was laying it on thick, wasn't she? She acted like she hasn't seen us in months even though she just saw us at Easter” he says with a chuckle and an eye roll.
“I know! But can we plan to leave by early afternoon, so we still have time in the evening to do stuff?” I ask with pleading eyes. The party is actually on Sunday instead of being literally on Memorial Day. So I need time to prepare for the workweek. I'm the person who does laundry and grocery shops the night before the start of the week. Procrastination gets me every freaking time, I swear.
“Sure baby. So what did you get today? I saw lots of bags. It seems like you were gone forever,” Eric says. I’m offended!
“Eric, you should know me better than that by now. Shopping takes time and effort, okay? It shouldn't be rushed,” I tell him, seriously.
“My bad. I should know that by now, shouldn't I? I seem to forget just how seriously you take shopping,” he says, smiling. Duh! I roll my eyes.
“So did your find something to wear for the party?” Eric asks me next. I go to grab more chips but stop myself. All this snacking everyday is part of my weight problem. Chips are officially on the no-no list. Right along with chocolates, cookies, crackers, and pretty much everything that tastes good.
“Maybe. I bought a dress but I’m not sure on it yet” I say a bit pouty.
“I’m sure you look amazing in it baby girl,” he says, pulling me closer to him and kisses my nose. Of course he’d say that. He’s the one person who has to say that to me. Unless...he isn't telling the truth. But he is, right?
“You okay? You’re being a little quiet. Did something happen?” Eric asks, getting suspicious. For once, nothing happened. No arguing over clothes or getting pulled over for speeding. Quick, I need some wood to knock on to protect my butt from bad vibes.
“I'm fine. I'm just tired. We went to a lot of places. Lots. Do you want to see what I got? I bought you some things too. Come see. Come see,” I tell him excitedly. He's going to look good in the clothes I bought him. But Eric looks good in everything.
“Okay, angel. Okay” he says as I’m already pulling him up from the couch. Like I said, he’s hot when I get him to model clothes for me. Heehee.

Later that Night:
This dress looks terrible on me now. Right along with all of these shorts, dresses, pants, and pretty much everything in my closet. It all looks hideous on me now. Oh and by the way, I weighed myself and I gained FIVE pounds. It’s tragic. I cannot believe I let myself get like this. Ugh. Things need to seriously change ASAP. I shrug off the dress that I was wearing (a little black dress incase anyone was wondering. It used to be one of my favorites) and look at my body in the mirror.
I put on one of Eric T-shirts and walk into our bedroom. I need to do some serious researching. I grab my laptop and lay down on top of the bed. So I want to lose some weight by the time the party gets here. The last thing I want is to look bad in front of Eric’s family. Sooo, I have about two weeks. I type in how-to-lose-weight-in-two-weeks into the web browser.  About a million search results pop up instantly. Ha, this should be easy. Right? After much searching, I have come up with a list of diets that I’m going to try. People have claimed that these things have worked. So it can't hurt to try these tips out. I'm desperate, so they better work. Okay, so I need apple cider vinegar, grapefruits, lemons, cucumbers, protein bars, and a variety of juices. The whole food market is going to be my new BFF soon. Shhh, don't let Lily know. Hopefully, some of these diets work or I don't know what I'll do. I gotta say. I picked out the mild ones too. There was some weird shit that I saw to try; like eating tapeworms or baby foods. No thanks! Ew! Five pounds shouldn't be that hard to get rid of. Hopefully anyways. It sure was easy to pack on the pound that’s for damn sure. Stupid chocolate and pasta. I get off the bed and head to where Eric was working in the kitchen. You know, doctor-y casework that I have no clue about. It makes my head spin just looking at it.
“Eric, I need to ask you a question? And you have to answer honestly. Like one hundred percent honest” I say standing next to where he is sitting.
“Okay baby, I’ll answer honestly,” Eric tells me while pulling me to sit down on his lap.
“Pinky swear?” I ask, holding my pinky up. No one breaks pinky swears. Only the worst kind of people do.
“I pinky swear” he says wrapping his pinky with mine.
“Double pinky swear?”  I ask holding up my other pinky up. It never hurts just to be sure.
“I double pinky swear. Now ask me angel,” Eric says with a grin.
“Okay. Do I look any differently?” I ask him seriously. Eric raises his eyebrows in surprise.
‘Is that your question?” he asks me in surprise.
“Yes! Now answer,” I say impatiently. Let's go, Eric. His eyes do a quick once over my body.
“No baby, you don't look any differently. Or is this supposed to be a trick question or something?” Eric asks. I roll my eyes.
“No, this isn't like that. I didn't get my hair done or new makeup or anything. And anyway, you would for sure know if I did. But honestly just tell me if something about me is different” I plead to him.
“Honestly, nothing looks different about you, babe. What do you think looks different?” Eric asks me. This is something I can't just come out and say ‘Hey, I got fat’. Um, hell no!
“Ugh. Never mind. I just thought something looked off about me” I huff with my arms crossed as I try to get off Eric’s lap. This was useless.
“Are you sure?’” Eric says, not believing me.
“Yes, I’m sure. You know how paranoid I can get” I say making something up. I'm changing the subject pronto.
“Alright, if you say so. But angel, I promise you; nothing is ‘off’ about you. You look like my beautiful girl that I love” Eric says, placing a kiss on my temple. Yeah right, Eric.
“Sure. Whatever” I mutter while rolling my eyes. I try to get off his lap but his arms tighten around me.
“You don't believe me?” he asks me with a sly grin. I shrug my shoulders still in a pout.
“I can't believe you don't believe me,” Eric says starting to tickle my sides.
“Eric, stop it!” I cry out in laughter while trying to get away. This is torture. I think tickling might be worse than a spanking. Okay maybe that's a stretch. It stills SUCKS though.
“Do you believe me yet?” Eric asks me without stopping his tickle mayhem.
“Okay! I believe you now,” I say between laughs. Eric stops tickling me and I can finally breathe easy again. Thank goodness!
“I hope you believe me now baby. Like I said, I think you are completely perfect. Come on, let's figure something out for dinner” he tells me while standing us up and heads to the fridge. Well if he says so, but I still have my doubts.

About a week later:
“Hey Lily” I say, opening the front door to let her into the condo.
“Hey. Hurry, take some bags. My hands are killing me. When are they going to get that stupid elevator fixed?” Lily says thrusting some of them to me. I take a few to lighten her load. What’s in here? Bricks?
“Did Sophi give you enough stuff to do?” I ask, walking into the kitchen quickly. My arms are already sore from going hard in the gym. So the bags feel like a thousands pound weights, no lie. I've been working out everyday for the last week. I figured it could help me drop the pounds faster.
“No kidding. I think she gave us a lot more work than we’d said we’d do. I'm pretty sure Sophi is driving herself to the ground for this 5k. She is always working on it whenever I see her at Felipe’s apartment” Lily tells me. Oh, did I forget to mention the fundraiser of hers is a half marathon? Yeah, running isn't a personal favorite of mine. At least not for fun. Thank god I can walk it instead. And hey, it’ll count as my workout for the day.
“I can see. So what does she want us to do?” I ask, opening one of the bags to see what was inside. Lily volunteered us to help out with putting papers and nametags with number sheets for registration. Thanks for asking me, Lils.
“Well not only do we have to put registration papers together. We also have to cut signs to decorate and make some encouraging flyers for the trails. So get your creative flow going” she says, opening some bags and takes a bundle of papers out.
“Yippee” I say sarcastically as I get a glass out of the cupboard and pour some juice into it. And let me just say this “juice” tastes like complete shit. Its one of the diets from my list. My eating schedule goes like this: grapefruit and juice for breakfast, salad, grapefruit, and juice for lunch, and somewhat of a healthy dinner. I don't want Eric to suspect I’m on a new diet. Trust me, I do NOT need a doctor lecture to occur. Those can last FOREVER. But on the plus side, I’ve lost a pound in less than a week. So I guess it's working. The downside is that I’m hungry the majority of the time. Or it seems like it anyways. And you know what tends to happen when I’m hungry…
“What are you drinking?” Lily asks, grabbing a glass herself.
“Some kind of lemon, cucumber, and spinach juice” I tell her after successfully gulping it down.
“Juice? It looks gross,” she says, looking at it in disgust.
“It's not the best tasting, but it's bearable” I tell her while sitting down at the kitchen table.
“You're not on one of your health kicks again, are you?” Lily asks, narrowing her eyes at me after pouring some water from the fridge.
“I might be. I'm just trying to lose some weight,” I say defending myself. Lily rolls her eyes.
“Lose weight? Why?” she asks me next. Isn't it obvious? Sheesh, do people have eyes.
“ Because I gained five pounds Lils. Five!” I tell her, raising my hand to her face to emphasize my point.
“Oh the horror! Complete and utter horror!” Lily feignedly exclaims. Very exaggerated, might I add. And I’m the supposed drama queen between us. Ha!
“I’m serious. None of my clothes look good anymore” I tell her while pulling more stuff out of the bags.
“Whatever. Five pounds is hardly that much. Certainly not enough to get worked up about. Five pounds can easily be lost if you do it right. Plus, it's not even noticeable on you. It must have gone straight to your butt and hips. And that's a blessing, not a curse” she tells me.
“No, its definitely a curse” I tell her. I'm not counting my blessings in this corner.
“I think it's more in your head than anything. You look fine. Don't worry” Lily tries to reassure me. Easy for her to say. She hasn't gained anything.
“Sure I do. Enough about me now. Let's get this stuff started, so we can finish sooner. I don't want to spend the night doing arts and crafts” I say, diverting the attention away from me. As much as I like to talk about myself, I don't want Lily to ask any more questions about my diets. I don't think she’d approve of what I’m doing. It's hard enough staying under Eric’s radar. He became aware of my new health regime after he noticed some of my changes. When I stopped snacking so much or eating my coveted chocolates. Or when I chose to drink tea instead of coffee. So in other words, when I decided to deprive myself of my love and joy is when Eric thought something was up. However, I just told him I wanted to eat a little better foods since I was eating like completely shit lately.  Which is very true and I didn't lie. I just didn't add that I’m not eating very much at all. I kept that little detail to myself. Like I said, I don't think either Lily or Eric would approve. But this diet is not permanent. I just need to look amazing again and then I’ll be happy. Isn't a happy Cori better than a sad Cori? I definitely think so. Heehee.

I’m finally home. Good thing too because I am exhausted. Working out in the gym has made me so tired lately. Incase you were wondering how my diet is going, I have lost almost another pound. So I guess I can say it's going pretty fantastic. Between eating unsatisfying food and upping my fitness regime, it's no surprise that it's going so well. Man, I wish my plans went this well.. I make my way to the kitchen hoping to see Eric. he should have gotten home almost an hour ago but that isn't always the case. That's the downside of working at a hospital. Oh and less cuddle time for me. That is a huge negative in my book. Hmph.
“Hey baby” Eric says with an endearing smile. Yay! He is here. I would happy dance but I’m too tired even in my mind.
“Hey” I say happily as I walk toward him for a quick hug. I lean up and give him a kiss.
“Did you go to the gym again? you’ve been going a lot lately” Eric asks me.
“I know. I just thought I needed to pick it up. You know I’ve been getting lazy with it” I remind him as I pull out of our embrace and head to the stove. Lets see what Eric made for dinner. Hopefully it's not fattening or on my no-no list. Which is pretty much everything that's good. Ugh.
“Okay. as long as you don't over do it, angel” he tells me.
“I won't” I say, even if I might be bending the truth a bit. I don't think I’m overdoing it but Eric’s definition might be a tad different. I see that he made chicken and rice. Its looks delicious but I can't eat too much of it. My mouth is already watering. Shit, I hope drool isn't falling down my mouth. That would be soooo not cool.
“Make your plate, baby. Its ready” Eric tells me while gently squeezing my butt as he walks past me to get drinking glasses. I reach up to grab some plates on my tippy toes. I start adding food onto my plate but I make sure not to add too much to it.
“Is that all you're going to eat?” Eric asks, looking at my plate. Uh oh. Tread carefully here, Cori. don't get him even more suspicious.
“Yeah, that's all I want. I'm not too hungry” I lie to him. And boy is it a big fat lie. I'm starving and want to eat EVERYTHING in sight. I'll be okay if I eat what's on my plate and drink gallons of water to fill me up. I can suffer a bit longer until I lose my pudginess. As long as I don't alert Eric to what I’m doing. The doctor in him would freak right onto my behind.
“How are your not hungry after working out?” he asks me in disbelief. I shrug my shoulders.
“I don't know. I'm just not. It is a little weird though”  agree with him. If I act like it's a surprise to me too then he won't suspect I’m up to something. Well, I can hope can't I?
“Hmm. okay baby. If you say so” Eric says, not convinced with my answer but doesn't press about it anymore. So I guess I’m in the clear. Yes! I sit down at the table impressed that I got away with it. Maybe my plans are looking up.
“Eric, I stopped by the mall after work yesterday to see if I saw something I liked and I finally saw a dress that I fell in love with for Sunday” I tell him. I honestly just love it. It's so pretty on me and I don't look pudgy in it. It's a short white sundress with big pink and blue flowers running down the middle of it. LOVE it! Can't you tell? Heehee.
“Oh yeah? I’m sure it looks gorgeous on you” he tells me. I really do.
“What time does your parents want us to be there?” I ask, taking a few bites of the food. They probably want us there to help set stuff up.
“Well, mom said whenever but she did include that it would be nice to have extra hands to set up. Honestly, I think we should just get there about an hour before. Plus we’re going to be there to help clean everything up. So I figured that would be fine. What do you think?” Eric asks me. I wouldn't mind setting things up than cleaning. But we are spending the night so it’d look bad if we did not. Thank goodness, the next day is actually Memorial Day so I can relax.
“That's fine with me” I say, pushing my food around a bit and not really eating it. I’m so interested in this that I don't notice Eric’s watchful eyes.
“Baby girl, what did you eat today?” Eric asks me. My eyes widen in response. Crap!

Eric’s POV:
Cori looks up at me like a deer caught in the headlight. But quickly looks down at her plate again.
“Food” she says a bit stubbornly. I roll my eyes.
“But what kinds of food exactly? What did you have for breakfast and lunch?” I ask her wanting specific details. Listen, I’m well aware that Cori is on one of her diets. She usually tries the current health trend that are usually ridiculous. Hence the large number of grapefruits in the fridge along with apple cider vinegar water. She usually does it for a week or so before getting tired of it and stopping. However, things are a little different this time. I've noticed in the past week that not only is she eating less and less but she is also upping her gym intake. Which normally isn't a bad thing but when someone is under eating, it definitely raises some red flags; health wise. I don't want my baby to continue doing whatever that she is doing if it isn't healthy; especially if it leads something worse.
“I had food, okay? I had a lot of fruit, vegetables, and a salad for lunch.” Cori tells me in a huff as she stands up and heads to the sink. Did I mention that she has been a lot more irritated and moody lately? It's like a ticking time bomb with Cori sometimes. She’ll eventually explode.
“Do you think that’s enough? Because I don't” I say standing up as well.
“Its enough. Eric, I’m fine. I'm just not hungry today” she says, rolling her eyes.
“So you weren't hungry today, yesterday, or the day before that? Just because I’m away at work doesn't mean I don't notice things here. I don't think you made dinner the last two nights. You're starting to worry me, angel” I tell her honestly. I don't like where this is going and I want to put a stop to it early.
“Eric, I’m fine. I'm just watching what I eat, okay? I'm FINE! Jesus!” she yells and slams her plate down into the sink. Then a loud crack is heard. I told you she’d blow.

Cori’s POV:
My eyes widen after realizing what I just did. Eric makes his way towards me threateningly. Very, very threateningly. I slowly walk backwards with my hands on my butt protectively. Okay, so yelling and breaking a plate may not have been the smartest thing to do.
“I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do that” I try to defend myself but I’m ignored as Eric pulls me towards him.
Smack smack smack smack
Eric starts peppering hard swats to my butt, which hurts even with my leggings on.
Smack smack smack smack
“Ow! I'm sorry” I cry out  as Eric continues to show his displeasure through his smacks.
“Are smack you  smack going smack to smack continue smack to smack lash smack out smack or smack are smack you smack going smack to smack calm smack down?” Eric asks me. I try my hardest to move around but Eric seems to get a bull’s eye no matter what. It must be his basketball skills or something. Ugh.
“Yes! Ow. I will! Ah” I plead, hoping that he will stop or at least decide not to pull my pants down. My hope is answered as Eric actually stops and just in time too. My butt was burning already.
“Get to the corner” Eric tells me with a point. I hurry over to get out of the spanking range fast. Once I’m in my designated corner in the living room, I rub my sore cheeks. Dang, is Eric’s hand hard. Thank goodness he didn't grab the evil wooden spoon of doom since it was literally right there. Now that I’m in time out, I guess I’ll have to reflect as Eric calls it. Okay so I definitely overreacted when Eric was questioning me about what I have been eating. I panicked majorly. I felt like he was onto me and I just wanted to avoid the conversation all together. I probably could have gotten some more time to think if didn't throw a minor hissy fit and break a dish. I guess the gym time is paying off. I also forgot to mention that plate was one of my favorite patterns and now I don't have a full set. I guess I have an excuse to buy new ones now. Heehee. I did see some cute ones at-
“Okay, baby. You can come out now” Eric says, interrupting my internal musings. I turn around and head straight to where Eric is sitting. I dive onto his lap as he holds me.
“You know I love you, right?” Eric tells me as he kisses the top of my head. I nod my head as I take in his familiar scent. I love the smell of him; even if that does sound weird...and creepy.
“Love you too” I say back contently.
“Now are you calm enough so we can continue talking about your eating or lack of it?” he asks me. Sigh. I was really hoping that he wouldn't bring it up again. But I shouldn't be surprised. Eric doesn't ignore issues regarding my health. He takes it very seriously. Sometimes I think a little too seriously but I’m not saying that out loud. I'm not that slow.
“I guess so” I say and get up to sit next to him on the couch.
“Can you please tell me how much you've really been eating?” Eric asks. Yeah, he definitely isn't going to like my answer,
“Not much honestly. Fruits in the morning, salads for lunch and protein bars for dinner when I’m home alone. That's pretty much it” I tell him. He isn't impressed with my answer.
“That's it? Why aren't you eating more along with going to the gym so frequently?” he asks with worry evident in his green eyes.
“Because I’m trying to lose weight. Eric, I gained weight and I don't look the same in my clothes” I say unhappily. I think that is what I’m upset about the most. I’m pissed that I didn't even notice it happening since my appearance is a priority for me. Usually I can gage my weight. Plus at college I regularly used the scales at the recreational center. So I could use that as a reference but now that I’m working full time and am much busier, that is slowly changing. I panicked when I saw that I gained anything because it caught me by surprise. I know that I’m usually confident about my looks most of the time. I've learned that my looks are important and I always need to be on top of myself. It was pretty much ingrained in me that if I let myself go, I could be run over by someone else who actually tried. Who was the person who said this to me? My mom. Lets just say my childhood was pretty dark. I don't like to go down memory lane a lot. This is why nobody actually knows the real reason I’m so fashionable pretty much twenty four seven; not even Eric. Its best to be left unsaid because I don’t want him to know just how fucked up my childhood was.
“How much weight?” he asks while taking my hand in his.
“About five pounds; but I’ve already lost almost two pounds” I tell him. Well there's no point in holding that info any longer. Eric would have gotten it out of me one way or another, I’m sure.
“Do you really think you’ve gained a ton of weight?” Eric asks me. Umm, yeah! I’m not on a stupid diet just for fun.
“Yes!” I tell him again.
“Babe, I live with you remember? I‘ve seen you naked. I think I would have noticed if your body has changed and it hasn't” he tells me. I roll my eyes.
“Well then why did the scale say I gained five pounds?” I ask him confused. The numbers don't lie, especially since I put new batteries in the scale and everything. So it's pretty legit.
“It could be a number of things. You could be bloated from water weight or gained muscle. You've been going to that fitness class every week. But listen angel, there's a healthy way to lose weight and an unhealthy way. You are for sure doing the latter. Under eating and over exercising is not a good combination.” Eric tells me. Oh boy, here comes Doctor Eric.
“Then how am I supposed to do it then?” I ask. Isn't that how it's done? Eat less and move more?
“By eating at a proper caloric deficit that isn't going to starve your body. Usually about three to five hundred less than the total amount of calories your body needs each day to live. As for working out, if you constantly exercise without eating enough food then your body doesn't get enough energy to fuel itself. It goes hand in hand. You get me?” he asks after finishing his explanation. I told you the doctor is in the house.
“I get you. I didn't think about it like that, but I guess it make sense” I admit.
“Losing weight is a lot easier than most people expect. It just take the right commitment. You don't need to starve yourself or try any fad diets. Not that that I think you need to lose any. You're at a healthy weight for your height even if you gained five” Eric says. I roll my eyes again.
“But I get it. You think I’m biased. That's why I want you to make a doctor’s appointment for next week to get a second opinion” Eric says while kissing my hand in his. Ugh. I hate going to the doctors. What's the point when I’m married to one?
“Why? Why can't you help me?” I whine to him, hoping he’d change his mind.
“I can and will help you but I think you need to also go to a different doctor. So you can have another outlet to ask questions. Plus you can ask or tell them something you might not be comfortable talking to me about” he says. He got that right.
“do I have to?” I complain, hoping he’d change his mind adding puppy dog eyes to get my point across.
“Yes, you have to and you better do it” he tells me in an or else voice. Ugh.
“Okay. I will” I sigh in defeat, knowing there is no point in trying to change Eric's mind. As if I will ever change his mind on things.
“Thank you baby. I just want you to get a handle on this issue. I don't want you to obsess and have it lead to something worse” Eric tells me. I feel a bit bad knowing that he is worried about me; well more than usual anyway. Eric’s always worried about me for obvious reasons.
“It won't” I say, trying to convince him and myself. Eating at the bare minimum probably wasn't smart. Especially since I felt really light headed when I was leaving the gym today. That piece of info will never, ever escape my lips. Eric would have a field day on my ass.
“So will you please eat more food now and not practically starve yourself?” he asks me. I get to eat more food now? Yes please!
“I will. But can we go get some ice cream? I miss eating chocolate” I say with a pout. I miss pretty much  everything that is on my no-no list with chocolate being a the top.
“Sure baby. Let's go” Eric says with a smile and kisses my cheek before pulling me up with him. So I plan to eat more now but I’m not going to go crazy or anything.  I still want to feel better about my body but maybe eating pretty much nothing isn't the way to go. I guess I’ll have to wait and see. At least until I can get Eric off my back. Wish me all the luck with that. But until then, I’m enjoying this glorious ice cream that I’ve missed. I can taste the chocolaty goodness from here. Hopefully I don't feel guilty eating it.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
“Cori! I finally found you. Hey Devon.” I hear Mariah say as she walks to where I’m sitting outside. It's the day of the Dawson’s Memorial Day party. It’s already going down right now. Lets just say they really know how to party. After me and Eric made our way around and said hello to people, we parted ways when Aunt Jeanine (Janey’s mom) wanted to ask Eric about a medical concern or something like that. I so did NOT want to be part of that conversation. Especially since she is a little on the weird side. I'm currently sitting outside under a tent where I found Devon sitting. I decided to sit with her for a bit until Mariah apparently “found” me.
“Well, I wasn't hiding. Why were you looking for me?” I ask as she plops down next to me on the bench swing.
“So I’ve decided I’m going to stick with you for the majority of the day. I’m avoiding Janey at all costs,” she tells me. Oh, I should have known that's what she was going on about.
“Do you guys really hate each other that much? Damn” I ask getting interested. I am the gossip queen after all.
“Pretty much. And Chris already warned me not to get into it with her today. As if I'm the one who starts shit,” Mariah says with a huff.
“So why do you guys not get along anymore? You never did say exactly what the fallout was about?” I ask curiously. Give me all the juicy details, girl. Lily and me are dying to know what happened. I understand some friends drift apart but things are too intense. Something for sure happened between Mariah and Janie. My gossip filled mind NEEDS to know, dammit!
“I don't want to talk about it. I'm just going to pretend like she isn't here and enjoy my time. But if I do see her, I'll…” Mariah says as she continues to grumble under her breath. Finger snap. I’ll get it out of her one day; mark my words. I look across the backyard to see the large crowd of people hanging around. Something catches my eye at the entrance to the back of the house. Guess who is here. Nelly. My feelings on her have yet to change. I can't believe Eric was with her, even if it was in high school. She’s like pretty much perfect. Perfect hair, body, and overall looks. And then there's me. I'm not sure why I feel so self-conscience by her and I hate that. And don't get me started on Ms. Snooze. My stomach begins to hurt.
“Isn't that Eric’s ex? Why is she always at these things?” Mariah asks, squinting her eyes while looking across the large backyard at her. I roll my eyes annoyed.
“Demi is good friends with her mom. They go way back apparently. Hey, I think Janey is heading this way” I say quickly pointing in the opposite direction that Nelly was in.
“Where!” Mariah says sitting up alert. Okay, so I lied. I have no idea where Janey is but I just wanted to change the subject. It was a pretty dirty move though, wasn't it? Heehee.
“Oh never mind. It was just Andrea. My bad” I say with a small grin. Mariah pushes me.
“Fu-F you” she says, giving me a dirty look. She barely saves herself after remembering that Devon was sitting with us. Nice save.
“Hey, guys” Andrea says coming up to us with a guy. He has blondish colored hair gelled at the top. He’s wearing a bright colored green shirt with khakis. He looks like a bit of a frat boy.
“Hey” I say with a smile as she sits down by us.
“This is Luke. I haven't brought him to meet you guys yet. This is Cori, Mariah, and you’ve already met my sister Devon” she says, introducing everyone. I forgot Andrea has a boyfriend that she met at her university. At least, that's what social media says. What would I do without face book or twitter for everything? I’d probably have to get news the old fashion way: newspapers or books. No thank you. I might get a paper cut or chip my fingernail polish on my nail.
“Hey! Nice to meet you” Luke says, greeting us with a smile. He’s cute, but he’s no Eric.
“Are you enjoying the party?” I ask, being nice. I can tell Andrea really likes him. If the googly eyes isn't obvious from where I'm sitting. I wonder if I ever give Eric those eyes…
“Yeah. Everybody’s been really nice and the food is fantastic. Your parents really know how to cook, babe,” Luke says. Ah, the flattery routine.
“I know. Did you guys eat yet?” Andrea asks Mariah and me.
“Yeah, I’ve eaten” I Tell her as Mariah also nods her head in confirmation. I'm not lying about eating either. I did have a plate of food and made sure Eric saw me with it because I know he has been watching me like a hawk after our talk. Ill admit that I am feeling better now that I’m eating more food. I'm not as tired or grumpy as I was before. Food really is the joy of life, isn’t it? I am still feeling off about my body because I can't shake the feeling of being off or in control. Since I told you the whole childhood spiel earlier, I’m just going to say that there are still a lot of negative thoughts floating around in my head. I still also haven't made a doctor’s appointment yet. I've been busy packing and getting ready for today but I’ll get around to it...eventually.
“Oh, I forgot to mention. Devon, mom wants to see you about something” Andrea tells her sister. Devon sticks her lips out in a pout.
“Hey, don't shoot the messenger. I'm just telling you what mom said,” she says, raising her hands in defense.
“I’ll help you find her,” I tell Devon as I stand up. I know how much Devon doesn't like large crowds of people. She smiled up at me and stands up too.
“I’ll see you guys later. Oh and Mariah, Janey’s coming over here” I add before I leave.
“No she’s not. Your not funny” she's says rolling her eyes. I grin and shrug. The funny thing is that Janey actually is walking over in this direction. But if Mariah doesn't want to believe me this time, that’s her loss. I just wish I could see the look on her face when they make eye contact.
“I bet your mom is near the kitchen,” I say to Devon as we walk alongside the pool towards the house.
“P-probably” she says with a knowing smile. Demi practically is glued to that area during these parties. She loves cooking for guests. As we make our way inside, I catch sight of Nelly and her mom. Thank goodness, Eric isn't with them. She’s wearing a white romper that looks really good on her. The churning in my stomach grows stronger and my throat starts to burn. Don't start, Cori. Just don't. We make our way inside the house without either Nelly or Ms. Snooze noticing us.
“There she is,” I say, pointing to Demi fluttering around the kitchen while she talks to people. Devon walks toward her as I hurry up the stairs leading to the second floor. I need some alone time. I head to Eric’s old bedroom where we are staying for the night and fall to the ground once I step into the bathroom. I practically crawl to the toilet and barely make it in time before I’m spilling my guts into it. I pretty much puke everything up that I had eaten throughout the night. Tears are spilling down my face as a sob escapes. Memories of me vomiting when I was younger flash into my mind. I didn't do it often but I did do it whenever I felt bad enough about not meeting my mom’s expectations on my appearance. There was pretty much nothing left in me by the time I finished throwing up. I flush the toilet and move away as I sob into my arms. I cannot believe I did that. I promised myself I wouldn't do that again. To be so hard on myself to make me feel sick. I’m such a sobbing mess that I don't notice two hands grab a hold of me.
“Baby, what happened? Are you okay?” I hear Eric asks me as he kneels down in front of me. I don't lift my head up because I am sure that my face is a mess. Eric puts his arm under my legs to lift me up and take me inside the bedroom. He sits me down on his lap as he begins to rock me gently.
“Are you sick, baby?” he asks me. I shake my head no against him. I don't think I could throw up again even if I tried.
“Did something happen to make you cry?” he asks me next. I did not respond to that since technically something did happen. My inner thought happened. Ugh. Why can't humans stop their brains sometimes? It would fix a lot of problems, I swear.
“Maybe” I say with another sob.
“Do you want me to just hold you and stop asking questions for right now?” Eric asks me. Yes, please shut it Eric. I nod my head.
“Okay” he says as he tightens his protective arms around me. I feel safe as I continue to cry it out.


Eric’s POV:
I continue to hold my upset angel as she sobs in my arms. I don't know what the hell happened or why she threw up but I will find out the reason. When I noticed I didn't see Cori anywhere after a while, I went looking for her. When I found her in our room huddled in the corner of the bathroom crying, my heart started beating fast. It’s not something you want to ever see with someone that you love. Hopefully, I can figure out what is going on when she calms down. It takes a good fifteen minutes before Cori has stopped crying and is only left with a runny nose. I reach over to the nightstand and pick up a tissue box so she can dry her face. Thank you mom for having that on hand. Moms really do think of everything.
“Here baby” I say as I hand her a tissue. She blows her nose and wipes a few tears that escaped her eyes. I kiss her forehead gently.
“Can you tell me what happened?” I ask, not knowing if she was ready to talk yet. I hear a small sigh from her while she sits back to face me.
“I threw up” Cori says. I figured out that much based on where she I found her and the smell.
“I know baby. Was it something you ate?” I asked wiping a piece of hair away from her face. She shakes her head again, but doesn't say anything for a moment.
“Eric, there’s something I need to tell you. Something I haven't told anyone” Cori tells me while looking down at her lap. Jesus, what is she about to tell me?
“Eric, have you ever wondered why I care so much about my appearance and what I look like? Why I like to be perfect in everything that I wear and my makeup and stuff like that?” she asks me. I raise my eyebrows in surprise. I wasn't expecting that question to come at me. It's my baby here so I shouldn't be as surprised. Honestly, I haven't wondered too much on why Cori wants her appearance to always be flawless. I just figured it was something that a lot of women do.
“Not really, baby. I haven’t. Why?” I ask her.
“Its because I always had to be perfect for my mom growing up. You know how she never thought I was good enough to be her daughter and always compared me to others. This applied to what I wore, how I fixed my hair, and how much I weighed. She always told me that if I didn't look a certain way, I was pretty much worthless. To not even bother trying if I didn't look presentable. Nothing was ever good enough for her though. And I tried really hard, Eric. to meet her approval. I always wore things hoping that’d she’d like it for once. I even threw up hoping to never gain any weight. Nothing worked. This pressure got really bad right before I went to live with my dad. My mom would tell me that I needed to work on myself and to always be on top of my appearance even though she said it would be impossible for me to ever achieve that. When I lived with my dad and got away from constantly hearing her words, I slowly grew confident  about myself. It helped that my dad let me buy whatever I wanted. But in the back of my mind, what my mom always said stuck with me. That's why I always want everything about my looks to be the best.” Cori says with a faraway look in her eyes. I’m speechless. I honestly don't know what to say. I had no idea that my baby went through that. To think she had just wanted to meet her mom’s approval and never could. I know Cori had an abusive childhood but I’ve only gotten bits and pieces from her. I never push for her to tell me about it because I know she doesn't want to go down that memory lane. I don't even want to think about what else Cori had to endure when she lived her mom. A part of me will never fully like or trust Veronica because of what she did to Cori. whatever she did has left some big emotional scarring on my baby.
“Cori baby, I’m so sorry that you had to live through that” I tell her as I wrap her tightly into a hug.
“That's why I wanted to lose weight so bad. I felt like I wasn't on top of my looks and felt ugly. I just felt sick and horrible about myself. That's why I threw up earlier” she tells me sadly. A lot of things are definitely clicking in my mind right now. I noticed a change with Cori within the last week or two. She was being really insecure and asking if she looked okay. Now I can see that it was more than just wanting to lose weight; a whole lot more.
“You know your mom is totally wrong, right? That you're completely beautiful and perfect without following her stupid standards of beauty” I say while rolling my eyes at Veronica’s logic.
“I mean I do know that most of the time but I still have a lot of imperfections that are hard to pass sometimes” Cori says. it hurts to know that she doesn't see what I see when I look at her.
“Angel, do you want to know what I see when I look at you?” I ask her. She looks at me curiously and nods her head.
“When I look at your eyes, I see big brown eyes that are warm and mischievous all at the same time. Your lips light up your whole face whenever you are excited or happy about something. Your hair makes you look like a goddess. Your body is curvy in all the right places. Your butt is amazing, baby. I could literally stare at it all day. Everything about you is perfect. I wish you could see that” I say looking into her eyes. Cori has a big smile showing on her face. The same smile I was just talking about.
“Really?” Cori asks me, just to be sure.
“Mhm. pinky swear” I tell her, holding my finger up. Apparently it's seriously frowned upon to break one.
“You have to double pinky swear” she says, holding up her other pinky for me to latch onto as well.
“I double pink swear” I promise with a grin.
“I don't think you need to constantly put yourself down if it's not up to you standards baby. It's not healthy, especially if it's making you throw up” I say, hoping this is getting into her head.
“I know that I shouldn't have such negative thoughts. I thought I grew confident enough in myself but I guess it's really hard to break a cycle. I will try to stop those thoughts from happening as frequently” she tells me. I really hope so.
“I know it's hard to stop a pattern in your mind, but you’ll have a better image of yourself when you do. That's why you will make a doctor’s appointment to discuss your weight. It will help you get a fresh look on it. Understand?” I ask to make sure she gets how serious I am on this.
“Yes sir, I will” Cori tells me, clearly not happy with the predicament. Cori isn't a big fan of doctors. Which is ironic since she decided to marry one. Go figure.
“I mean it baby. You’ll make an appointment and you will go to it” I tell her sternly.
“I will. I will. I'll make it when we get home tomorrow” she says. She better.
“And you know what else you're going to do?” I ask, already knowing she isn't going to like this either.
“What?” Cori asks hesitantly.
“You're going to write ‘ I am beautiful and perfect’ fifty times to hopefully get you to actually believe in what you write. I don't want you to ever think you are worthless or ugly again. You're the complete opposite of that. Okay?” I ask her, hoping she doesn't put up a fight. You know that's a big possibility with Cori.
“Okay, I’ll do it but do I have to do that tonight?” she asks, scrunching up her cute nose at the thought of doing lines tonight at my parents house.
“Nah. you can do it when we get back tomorrow” I tell her. She nods her head and snuggles back into me.
“Are you feeling a bit better now?” I ask her as I wrap my arms around her again.
“I do,  thanks to you. I love you” Cori tells me. I smile into her hair.
“I love you too baby girl.” I say, kissing her forehead.
“do you want to go back down or call it a night?” I ask her. Cori may not feel like socializing after puking and crying so much. I'm surprised she isn't falling asleep.
“I can go back down. Let me brush my teeth and fix my make up” Cori says as she gets off my lap and head to the bathroom. I don't think she realizes just how precious she is to me.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Do you ever get tired of seeing the same thing over and over  and over again? No? Just me? Well, I’m currently writing my required lines that Eric gave me to do. Ugh. my hand is already cramping and I’ve only written like ten sentences.. Writing that I am beautiful and perfect is still kind of hard to see in my mind. Even after I talked with Eric where I admitted my true feelings, last night. It was freaking hard as hell to tell him what my mom used to say to me. But I'm glad that he knows now. His words describing how I am beautiful to him sort of opened my eyes a bit. I didn't feel as crappy about myself and definitely feel more confident again. I honestly should just toss out what my mom used to tell me; especially since she thinks I’m soooo pretty now. Hmph. whatever. It's just hard for me, you know?
“Angel, you made your doctor’s appointment, right?” Eric asks coming into our bedroom. Ugh, that stupid appointment he wants me to go to. I don't really see the going in going. I've decided that I’m not going to diet anymore. After me and Eric returned to the party, I ate more food and actually enjoyed it for the first time in a couple of weeks. I didn't feel guilty. Screw my imperfections right in the… well you know what. I’m not going to start pigging out since I deprived myself on my favorite foods. I'm just going to go back to eating how I was before but I should try to eat a little healthier.
“Yes, I made it. Its for this Thursday” I tell him as I continue with my lines. I made it for the early afternoon so I can take a half-day off work. At least I have that to look forward too. I told Eric on the way back from his parents this afternoon that I was going back to eating normally. He was glad but still didn't change his mind about the doctor. Sigh. It was worth a shot.
“Alright, but make sure you go. Don't forget” he tells me with a pointed look. My butt certainly gets his point.
“I won't” I assure him as I stick out my lips for a kiss. Eric leans down and presses his lips to mine.
“Good. are you almost done with your lines?” he asks me.
“Yeah, I’m halfway done” I tell him, showing my paper up so he could see it.
“Okay, sweetness. You know why you're doing this right?” Eric says. To hopefully get the idea that I’m beautiful and perfect in my head.
“I do” I nod my head. Eric smiles at me and kisses the top of my head.
“Eric, let's order pizza for dinner” I tell him as my mouth is already watering at the thought. Well I might as well get back to enjoying food again. Plus, it is a holiday. It's the perfect excuse for the occasion. But who really needs an excuse for pizza? Heehee.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Thursday Afternoon:
My doctor’s appointment isn't for another three hours. I just left work and I'm deciding on what to do with my spare time. I guess I can stop by target to pass the time. I'm not really looking forward to going to this appointment. I really do not like any health professionals; except Eric. How is it that I fell in love with someone who is a doctor? The world is funny like that I guess. Anyway I don't want to go since I don't see a point. I'm not dieting anymore and I'm eating normally again. Do I really need to go? According to Eric I do and I do NOT want to know what would happen to my butt if I don't make it. I get inside the store and start looking around gleefully. I could spend hours here, I swear. I head to the home goods area to start off with. Hopefully I don't miss my appointment. It would be a shame to miss it. Hint, hint. Wink, wink.

Apparently I know myself really well. Which I shouldn't be surprised about since it is me after all. I'm hurrying to my car with my many shopping bags. I have twenty minutes to make it to the health clinic and that is if I go fast. I've been shopping this whole time. Time seems to just not exist in that place. Like a time warp. I did find some new plates to replace the odd numbered set at home. Oh right, I need to focus. I practically throw my bags into the car. Hopefully I can still make it. But if I miss it, I won't be complaining. I start my car and drive off. Crap! I hit traffic. This is just great. Stupid traffic. So there seems to be a lot of road construction and everyone is merging into one lane. Please god, make this go faster. I guess my cries for help were answered because the line did move along fairly quickly. I have ten minutes to get there. So I speed up hoping to make it. I'm pretty sure I would have been only about five minutes late if flashing red and blue lights didn’t stop me. Eric is going to kill me.

“Hey baby” Eric says as he walks into the kitchen. Okay, Cori. Remain calm.
“Hey handsome. How was your day?” I ask walking over to him and give him a hug. Act normal and not like you missed an important appointment or anything.
“It was good. How was yours?” He asks me, squeezing my lovingly.
“It was fine. I'm making pork chops for dinner. Is that okay with you?” I ask as I move away from him and head toward the fridge. Avoid the obvious at all costs.
“Sounds good. So how’d your appointment go?” Eric asks me. Now we're heading into dangerous territory for my ass.
“Ummm… about that…” I start to say to him. What am I supposed to tell him? I kind over shopped on purpose to avoid making it on time. Yeah, Eric would just love that answer.
“What?” He asks dreading what I'm about to say.
“ I kind of didn't make it to my appointment” I mumble as I press myself against the kitchen counter. My butt needs all the protection it can get before Eric gets a hold of it.
“Why?” He demands, heading towards me.
“I got stuck in traffic” I tell him, which is the truth. It's just not the whole truth.
“Traffic? I thought you had a half-day? You should have had plenty of time to get there” Eric says, now standing in front of me with his arms folded.
“I did but I also ran into some other problems” I say, not ready to tell the truth just yet. Would you? I think not! Eric doesn't say anything for a moment as he looks at me.
“You better start explaining everything” he says as he grabs a hold of my arm and pulls me out of the kitchen and into the living room. It's begun…
“I will” I tell him as Eric pulls me down onto the couch. Huh, I really thought that he’d haul me over his lap and start swinging.
“Start explaining. Now!” He tells me firmly. Well, here goes nothing.
“I really did get stuck in traffic but I was already in a hurry because I went to target after I got off work and didn't look at the time. There was also a lot of construction going on so the roads were backed up and I really did try to make it. Or at least get there a little late. But I kind of got stopped by a certain man in blue” I tell Eric about what happened all the while avoiding his piercing green eyes. They could burn right through my skull.
“So you got a speeding ticket?” Eric asks, already knowing the answer. I nod my head. I'm not going to add that I was in a construction zone, so the fine is going to be higher. My behind is in enough trouble already.
“Did you purposely not pay attention to the time or did you honestly lose time? Because I know you knew you had an appointment” he asks with narrowed eyes. Dang, he straight up caught me. I was going to play it off but it would be hard to do that now.
“Kind of purposely forgot, but I really did try to make it” I plead to him. Hence the stupid speeding ticket. Ugh. That's what I get for my efforts.
“That's what I thought. So let me get this straight: you missed your appointment because you were trying to get out of it and in the process you got a speeding ticket. Is that all right?” Eric asks, relaying what I had just told him. It sounds worse when he puts it like that.
“Yeah it is” I say, still avoiding his burning eyes.
“You're in a lot of trouble. So let's get you’re spanking started” Eric tells me while taking my hand and pulling me between his legs. He pulls my jean shorts and panties down my legs and has me step out of them. I know I say this a lot but why me? Eric pulls me over his lap and gets me situated. He puts his arm around my waist tightly and places his hand on my upturned bottom.
“Tell me baby. What did you do wrong today?” Eric asks me as he lifts his hand and brings it down hard over my right sit spot.
“Ow! I didn't make it to my doctor’s appointment because I didn't try hard enough to make sure I got there in time” I say while wincing.
Smack Smack Smack Smack
“I also got a speeding ticket. Ah!”
Smack Smack Smack Smack
“And smack would smack you smack have smack gotten smack that smack ticket smack if smack you smack gave smack yourself smack plenty smack of time smack instead of smack shopping smack and smack hoping smack you’d miss smack it smack smack?” Eric lectures me while placing hard smacks only on my sit spots. Don't tell me this is going to be a sit spot spanking? I'm really going to feel this when he’s done.
“Ah. No, probably not. Ow!” I cry out as tears begin to form in my eyes.
“And smack why smack did smack I smack want smack you to smack go to smack the doctor smack in the smack first place smack?” He asks. My bottom is already burning.
“Because you wanted me to get my weight checked. Ow! But Eric ah! I'm not dieting anymore. Ah! Why do I need to go?” I ask as tears roll down my face. Honestly, I think it would be pointless and a waste of time.
“You don't really get why I want you to go, do you?” Eric ask placing his hand on my warm cheeks as he pauses the spanking. Well duh! That's why I'm asking you Eric. I shake my head as I wipe the tears away.
“The reason I want you to go is because I want you to hear for yourself how healthy you actually are. That way any doubts that you have can be answered right then and there. Hopefully your doctor can finally squash any doubts that you have to prevent new ones that might creep up again in the future. Plus you’ll hear it from someone else other than me to maybe reinforced the idea. I just don't want you to ever think that you are not worth it due you your body, angel” Eric tells sincerely. What he said definitely hits me hard. I know that he hates when I put myself down. So this whole weight issues has definitely been hard for him to see me pick on myself so much. So I do see why he wants me to the doctor now.
“I get it now Eric. I'm sorry I didn't go” I sniffle to him since my nose is running.
“I hope you do because you will make another appointment that you will be going to. If you don't make it again, you're getting the belt. Do you understand me?” he asks while lifting his hand and continuing on with my spanking. Gulp. Loud and clear. Mr. Meanie Belt is staying far, far away from my butt if I can help it.
Smack Smack Smack Smack
“I will! Ow. Ah” I promise, trying not to kick my legs up since Eric hates that. It freaking hurts, yo.
“And as for whatever you bought at target, you won't be able to use it until your parking ticket is clear. So until you pay the fine and do defensive driving, those items are off limits” he tells me while placing really hard swats to both my upper thighs. WHAT!
“But that could take months” I say to him. I bought a cute new swimsuit cover and now I can't use it? I probably won't be able to use it until the end of summer. Ugh.  
“So be it” Eric says, covering every inch of my bottom with hard smacks. Now I also can't use the new dishes that I bought either. That's almost worse than a spanking. Oh who am I kidding? It's not that bad but it's still hurts my heart as much as my butt. I try not to kick my legs in a pout.
Smack Smack Smack Smack
Eric places four spanks to the middle of my butt before stopping and lighting me up.
“Go get the hairbrush” he tells me while turning me in the direction of our bedroom. I hurry into the room and retrieve the dreaded brush.
“I'm really sorry!” I say while handing him Ms. unfriendly brush.
“I know angel. But I want to get my point across how serious I am about your health” Eric says as he pulls me back down again. I should know that by now. He raises the brush and brings it down with a swift smack.
SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK
The pain is unbearable. How will I ever survive this? He spanks everywhere with hard smacks to my already throbbing cheeks.
“I'm sorry!” I sob into the couch as he lifts his leg to raise my bottom up higher to get better access to my sit spots. As if he didn't have enough access before.
SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK
Eric places a few more hard spanks to the top of my thighs before putting the brush down. By this time, my body is limp over his lap as I sob hard. I barely notice that he is helping me up and gently sits me down on his lap. Eric wraps his arms in a strong embrace as he rocks me.
“Shhh. I've got you baby girl. Shhhh. it's okay. I love you so freaking much. Never forget that. Shhhh” he whispers to me as he lets me cry it out. I eventually calm down a little while later.
“I really am sorry I didn't got to my appointment, Eric. I didn't really see a point but not I understand why you want me to go” I tell him as I lean back to look at him. Eric smiles at me as he wipes the last of my tears away.
“I'm glad. I just want you to put an end to any unnecessary thoughts of you being “fat” or anything like that. Because you're not; far from it sweetness” Eric tells me while kissing my nose. I smile up at him. How is it that he can have me crying one second and then smiling the next? I have yet to figure out Eric’s magic ways.
“I know. I'm going to remember what you see in me every time I start thinking bad about myself” I say. His words still make me happy whenever I remember what he told me at his parents.
“Please do because you know I mean every word of it” he says while giving me a kiss on the lips.
“Help me make dinner?” I ask, already knowing he would. What can I say? We like cooking together.
“Of course baby girl. Let me get changed first” Eric says helping me off his lap. He pats my sore bottom as he walks to our room; which ignited the fire in my bottom again. Thanks a lot Eric. I probably won't be able to sit comfortably for a week due to that wretched brush. Hopefully, I won't still be sore by the time I have my new appointment. So I won't be wincing during the exam. Yeah, that would be really awkward to explain. Yikes!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
 “If you don't have any other questions or concerns you’re free to go Mrs. Dawson. I hope you have a good evening” my doctor says to me with a smile. I return a smile of my own as I hop off the examining table. As you can gather, I finally went to the doctor. Eric’s threat of bringing out Mr. Meanie Belt really pushed my butt into action, that's for damn sure. I'm walking out of the doors of the clinic when I felt my phone vibrate in my purse. Oh, it's Eric. Probably checking in on me to make sure I actually went this time.
“Hey” I answer as I'm walking to my car.
“Hey angel. You know why I'm calling, right?” Eric says over the phone. I roll my eyes. I told you so!
“Yes, I went to my appointment. They were behind, so I had to wait about half an hour. I just got finished and I'm about to drive home now” I say in a see-I-did-it voice. I have receipts to prove it too. So ha!
“Good girl baby. So what did the doctor say?” He asks me.
“Well, long story short she said that I was at a healthy weight. Even with the supposed five pound weight gain, my BMI is still considered normal” I told Eric what she told me. I'll admit that I feel like a weight is lifted off of me.
“So how do you feel about that?” Eric asks me next.
“I feel better. I'm not as troubled about my body as I was before. So I guess you were right” I tell him.
“Aren't I always?” He says with a slight laugh.
“Shut up!” I say with a grin. He’s so cocky sometimes, I swear.
“Seriously though. I'm glad that you had a good visit. Did you talk to her about anything else?” Eric asks. Well, there was something else…
“Yeah. I mentioned how I had a lot of body issues due to my mom’s treatment of me when I was a kid. And get this Eric. She said I should consider going to a shrink” I tell him about what else the doctor had to say today.
“Are you talking about a therapist?” He clarifies. That's exactly who I'm talking about.
“Yes! I don't need to talk to anyone about my body issues because I got them figured out” I say. For the most part anyways. It's a work in progress.
“I think maybe she meant talking about your mother's treatment of you in general; not just about the whole body image issue. And I don't know baby. It might be good to talk to someone about your mom” Eric tells me. Ugh. Not him too.
“I'm fine, Eric. I really don't want to talk to anyone about my mom or my childhood. No thanks” I tell adamantly. I hate remembering that stuff and I try to block it out of my memory if I can.
“You don't have to do it. It was just a suggestion to maybe consider one day. Okay?” Eric says. I roll my eyes. No chance on that happening.
“Okay. Now where are you?” I ask, changing the topic away from my mom.
“I just got off work so I'm heading home. We’ll probably get there at the same time” he tells me. Not if I drive faster. Heehee. I'm kidding. I'm not that much of an idiot to risk another ticket OR spanking. I'm still pissed that Eric confiscated my shopping items.
“Okay. I've missed you” I tell him. Eric just ended a twenty-four hour shift. I'm very Eric deprived due to his stupid schedule.
“I've missed you too angel. I can't wait to see you. So do you believe that you are perfect the way you are now?” He asks in a hopeful voice.
“For the most part, yeah. But… I might need a little more convincing from a certain someone” I say with a grin.
“Oh yeah?” Eric says who I'm sure was grinning also.
“Mhmmm” I reply as my grin gets bigger. Well, I did say I missed him.
“Well, I guess I’ll have to convince you again, now won't I?” He tells me.
“Mhmm. Meet you at home” I say in a singsong kind of voice.
“Don't speed” Eric warns me. Of course he would.
“I won't” I tell him while rolling my eyes. I might speed just a tad. After all, old habits die-hard.